As you may recall a couple of months ago, I posted the wish
list for Woman on the Ledge’s girl squad. Since it is the holidays, the party
season is in full swing, and in the spirit of equal time, I decided to check
out what men might be available for some cocktails and soirees.
I do have to put a disclaimer out there before I get started. The males on this list are eclectic and some of them will be head scratchers. However, I am a bit quirky (in case you haven’t noticed) so these might not be your conventional choices. Unfortunately, Brad, the Ryans, George, Jake, Dwayne, and Brad sorry. Maybe next time. So, without further ado, grab your martini glasses, put on your black-tie attire and get ready to paint the town red!
First up, Mr. Will
Ferrell. How can I not invite Frank the Tank to that boring office
Christmas party? You know the one. Everyone is wearing horrible sparkly
applique sweaters and tacky Santa ties. Yeah, that function. If I had Will by
my side I wouldn’t have to worry about having that awkward conversation with
Janice from accounting about her favorite YouTube cat videos. I am certain that
if a keg were nearby Will could create one hell of a diversion by shouting, “Keg
stands everybody!” If we happened to be poolside, a random “Cannonball!” would
certainly liven up this soul crushing experience.
Simon Pegg – This
choice is for the geek in me. For those of you that aren’t familiar with Simon’s
work, he is the genius behind the classic horror comedy Shaun of the Dead.
Still don’t know him? He plays Scotty in the new Star Trek films. Like me,
Simon is a big fan of science fiction. When the small talk gets to the point where
I am craving a double shot of scotch (any Glen will do!) Simon can pepper the
conversation with pop culture references so that I won’t have to feel my pain
alone. Thanks, Simon for saving me. I will buy you a round at the Winchester
once we blow this popsicle stand.
Robert Downey Jr.
– Iron Man/Sherlock Holmes anyone? RDJ in the house! While he is definitely eye
candy for the ladies, Mr. Downey has the acting chops to back up his Tony Stark
good looks. I grew up with Robert and if you see any of his films in the 80’s
(and we are ignoring his lamentable turn on Saturday Night Live YIKES!) you can
tell that he has talent. His turn with legendary thespian, Robert Duvall in The
Judge is proof positive that there are great things awaiting him in the future.
He is witty, he is urbane and he will look damn good in a tux. Case closed!
Bruce Campbell –
Okay. Yes, I know. You are probably wondering, “Susan, with all the A list
actors out there why would you pick the King of the B movies? Really?” I see
your point but don’t sell Bruce short! He has a wealth of potential that hasn’t
even been touched yet. Of course, he is known as the hero, (well, anti-hero) of
all the Evil Dead movies. He is now the star of the hit cable show, Ash vs the
Evil Dead. Prior to that, he played a rather conventional television role in
the wonderful action packed USA series, Burn Notice. Look, let’s get down to
brass tacks here. No one can rock a Tommy Bahama shirt without looking like your
embarrassing drunk Uncle Ed but Mr. Campbell can! Plus, he makes it look cool.
This guy is super funny and isn’t afraid to wear plaid jackets. Enough said. I
am bringing him along because he is going to turn that family gathering into a
college party night to remember. Tequila shooters anyone? Aunt Edna, get off
the table! You aren’t 18 anymore!
Bill Murray – This
man in my humble opinion is a national treasure! He had me at “Noogies” on Saturday
Night Live back in the day. I firmly believe that he will have a date with
Oscar in the very near future. His work keeps getting better and better. St.
Vincent was one of the BEST pictures I have seen in a long time. Mr. Murray has
made the list not only because he is “Bill Freakin’ Murray” but he is a fearless
comedian. You know how it isn’t a party until someone does drunk karaoke? I
guarantee you, this man could liven up any hum drum gathering with his lounge
singer version of Baby, it’s Cold Outside. Plus, it would be so awesome to be
friends with the guy who inspired a thousand memes. Let’s all raise a glass and
toast to Dr. Peter Venkman!
I do have some honorable mentions. While these gentlemen did
not make the first cut, they are my stand by’s in case one of the above flakes
out. You know how actors can be!
Sir Patrick Stewart
– What can I say about Star Trek’s TNG Captain Jean-Luc Picard? Sir Patrick is
a master thespian and a graduate of the impressive Bristol Old Vic Theatre
School. Not only did he tread the boards doing Shakespeare but he can also do
comedy. He is a regular on my favorite animated show, Family Guy and he has
also narrated the hysterical movie, Ted. In addition, he is the lead on what
may be one of the best cable television shows ever, Blunt Talk. If you were
ever curious about how Sir Pat Stew looks in a dress, then this is must see TV.
He is dashing, a wonderful
conversationalist and his voice could melt butter. If I would ever have to go
to a scary caviar and champagne affair (which I am fairly certain will NEVER
happen) he is my guy.
Jeremy Clarkson –
For those of you that do not know Mr. Clarkson, he was the presenter on a
little BBC and BBC America show, Top Gear. Last year, he was asked to exit the production
that he had created due to a little mishap involving cold cuts. Feel free to Google that one, it is a doozy,
trust me. Anyway, he is a polarizing personality. Currently he is on Amazon
Prime hosting the delightful, Grand Tour. Jezza, as his fans call him is
bombastic but quick witted and not afraid to verbally spar with the best of
them. He would be the perfect person to take over a boring dinner
conversation. Haven’t we all been there?
Well, that wraps up my squad- the guy edition. I had quite a
bit of fun choosing the members. Now I am going to have to have my people call
their people to do lunch. Meanwhile it’s time to break out the Spanx and the stiletto
heels. Good times. Hopefully I won’t end up in the ER.
Who makes the cut for your squad? I’d love to hear your picks! Feel
free to comment or drop me a line at susan.womanontheledge@aol.com or hit me up on Twitter @SusanontheLedge.
Happy Holidays!
I love Simon Pegg, he's so funny! :) Great choices!!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you, S.R. Simon has been a favorite of mine for several years now. Thanks for visiting! :)
DeleteSimon and Patrick and excellent choices. I do think Clarkson might overpower the group a little. I'd add Bruce Willis and compare head shaving techniques.
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty funny, Captain. I am certain that Sir Patrick would probably expound on that topic. Bruce Willis is also a terrific choice. Thanks for the comments. As always, I appreciate you stopping by.
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