It’s a brand new spanking year, filled with promise, the
chance to start anew but alas, Hollywood did not get the memo. I don’t know if they
were in mourning over the demise of Brangelina or lazy but apparently 2017 is
the year of the sequel.
Trust me, originality is not dead. There are plenty of
writers out there creating incredible stories. In her old age, Tinseltown is
becoming complacent. She no longer looks to find new talent. Why bother when you
can just crank out Fast and Furious 103? Hell, Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel
will be ready for the Actors Home and still doing hand break turns in their
wheelchairs.
In a last-ditch effort to try and knock some sense into the
La La Land powers that be, I have decided to write a letter. This should be
fun!
Dear Hollywood,
I was very excited at the prospect of new movies this year
only to be horribly disappointed. You have done it to me again. Just when I
thought we could reconcile and move past our differences you closed the door in
my face.
I remember in 2015 all of the furor that surrounded 50
Shades of Grey only to see your hopes and dreams dashed when fan
reaction wasn’t what you were expecting. I tried to be understanding. If only
Dakota Johnson could act. Yes, she is good at tossing her hair and biting her
lip but dialogue and any semblance of human emotion? Not so much.
Her co-star, Jamie Dornan is like a mannequin come to life. He
reminds me of a photo in a frame that you would get at Walmart. You know the one.
You leave it in there and try to convince your friends that he is the new man
in your life? Unfortunately, he is also lacking in the talent department. His
attempt at being mysterious and brooding left me wanting to give him a Tylenol
or something for his headache.
The sex scenes that were a middle aged married woman’s dream
left me rolling on the floor with laughter. I kept trying to tell myself this
wasn’t a comedy but I failed miserably. First of all, this has about as much
basis in reality as My Little Pony does. Sorry, Bronies. It’s true. This entire
movie was like an episode of Dateline. The only difference was that the S&M
scenes weren’t taking place in a cabin in the woods.
Now, we get to experience the joy all over again with 50
Shades Darker. Everyone is back in the pool and now we have added Kim
Basinger to the cast. Great! While she is lovely to look at, once again, acting
is not her strong suit. Yes, I know she has an Oscar but where has she been
since 1997? I rest my case.
Could you please tell me is it some sort of mandatory rule
that every 30 to 40 years we have to have a King Kong picture? Wasn’t
the original good enough? In 1976, even Jeff Bridges couldn’t save the remake.
Then along comes 2005 and guess what? Another King Kong movie. We didn’t
ask for it but yet we got it.
Cut to 2017 and we have a new incarnation entitled, Kong:
Skull Island. Maybe Sam Jackson and Tom Hiddleston can save this film
but I have my doubts. I won’t be going to see this but then again, you probably
don’t care because in 2057 we will just get another Kong movie.
I really don’t understand the choice to greenlight this
motion picture because the original in 1995 didn’t do so well but apparently,
we have short memories for these types of things. Now we are getting a new and
improved version of The Power Rangers! Thanks for this, it was very thoughtful of
you. Bryan Cranston is involved in this fiasco along with Elizabeth Banks.
These two actors are very versatile and must have student loans or something to
pay off by getting involved in this clunker. I guess this film will help kick
off the new upcoming television show.
Thank God for Michael Bay! He is leaving the Transformers
franchise but not before we get another installment. Even fans of the series
were disappointed with the last few efforts but apparently, this idea is
unstoppable. When will this end, or will
we be stuck in a perpetual loop of hell where the only movies that we can see
involve aliens that morph into cars?
Please, Hollywood. I know that I am one in a million and
that you have others who love you more than I do but if you keep giving them
the same lame sequels year in and year out, the passion is going to burnout. You
have to keep things fresh and interesting. Why not mix it up? Remember how you
used to love true indie films? The ones where the actors were people that weren’t
Julia Roberts and Tom Cruise and the plots were really inventive and the
directing was creative? Why don’t you try doing some of those for a while?
Kind Regards,
A Fan
How do you feel about
prequels and sequels? Do you think they are necessary? What types of movies do
you enjoy? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
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Hollywood as most creative industries have, has been taken over by the accountants. Money has always stifled creativity. Look at theatre - how many film adaptations are there on stage these days? I'm all for sequels if there is still a healthy amount of fresh material.
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy some sequels but it seems to me they are all going to the same well all the time. Thanks for dropping by, Captain. I always appreciate your comments. You are correct in that the same thing is happening on the stage too.
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