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Saturday, October 29, 2016

Dear Celebrity – The Political Edition

Normally, I try to refrain from expressing any sort of political opinion. I feel we have enough bombardment from the news media about the election on a daily basis. However, as we draw closer to the inevitable conclusion of this craptacular event, I feel compelled to sit down and write some of the candidates letters. So, sit back, grab your favorite beverage and enjoy!

My first letter goes out to the Libertarian candidate. Up until October 16th, I didn’t know who the hell this guy was or what he stood for.  I wish I could go back to being oblivious.

Dear Gary Johnson,
What a pleasure to meet you!  I used to live in New Mexico and I never heard of you until just recently.  Apparently, you were the Republican governor of the land of enchantment. Now you are running for the highest office in the land!  

According to your bio, in your spare time you climbed all Seven Summits. That is an impressive feat of endurance. If you can scale that big ass Mount Everest, then you can deal with all of the other candidates. I don’t know exactly what your platform is but I am certain you do not know either.

What I do know about you is that you have a wacky sense of humor and I want to party with you sometime. Remember when you were being interviewed by the reporter from MSNBC and you decided to start speaking like a crazy cartoon character doing weird shit with your tongue? Of course, you do! That is what this country needs. America needs a man who isn’t afraid to get a little freaky and shake things up. Your sense of humor is going to go over big with Putin. He loves a good laugh. You can tell by looking at him.

I think what I like the most about you is that you are not afraid to take an unpopular stance on challenges that are facing the American people. You oppose minimum wage and combating climate change. Apparently, you are hell bent on getting rid of the Department of Education, the Department of Commerce, and the Department of Housing and Urban Development. What a great plan! People definitely do not need education or houses to live in. Maybe you can teach us how to pitch a perfect tent since you don’t believe having a roof over one’s head is a priority.

You also want to eliminate the federal income tax and the IRS.  This is a bold strategy, my friend. Who wants that money deducted from their check anyhow? Our infrastructure is in terrific shape.  Things are not collapsing around us or in disrepair. There is no need for taxes to complicate matters or to assist with any sort of funding.

PS- Rumor has it that you used to be the CEO for a company that produced high-quality cannabis products.  Are you holding man?  With everything that has been going down lately, I could use something to mellow my chi, know what I’m sayin’?

Since I am all about fairness and equal time for all the candidates, I decided to turn my attention to the Green Party nominee, Ms. Jill Stein.

Dear Jill Stein,
First of all, you rock! I did not know that you fronted a crappy grunge/rap band in the 90’s called, Somebody’s Sister. I don’t believe we have ever had a bonafide recording artist run for president before unless you count President Clinton’s sax playing turn on Arsenio Hall.

You are like a modern-day Joan Baez or the female Bob Dylan.  Your lyrics? Absolutely amazing! I especially like “Thing Junky.” Let me sample some of the lyrics; “Thing junky, sellin’ the forest, thing junky, sellin’ the sky.” Eddie Vedder has nothing on you!  The best part about that song is the title.  It seems as if you couldn’t decide what to call this catchy tune. After all, the word Materialism isn’t sexy.  It is hard to pronounce, hard to spell, and hard to define. Yes, thing is more appropriate.

Another cool fact about you is that you do not shy away from conspiracies.  This is an important trait for any potential presidential candidate. So, if you are ever asked about UFO’s you can reply the same way you did when that guy at your rally told you that 9/11 was a controlled explosion. “We need to know the full story.” Great, Jill. It is not like we haven’t examined this horrible event enough.

Your riskiest effort may be your claim that you can eliminate student debt.  When you are asked how, you never give us a plan but that is okay. Maybe you are secretly telling recent graduates not to pay their loans. 

I wish you the best of luck. Even if you don’t become our next Commander-in-Chief you have your investments to fall back on, right?

Wow! I am definitely on a roll now. Next up is the Democratic nominee and perhaps our next President, Hillary Clinton.

Dear Hillary Clinton,
I went back and forth on whether I wanted to physically pen a letter or just shoot you an email.  I decided to go the old-fashioned route and put pen to paper. Where do I begin?
I feel like you and I are old friends. I knew you back when you wore those hideous headbands and you looked like a spinster schoolmarm or librarian. Now, you are a sight to behold!  Your hair is impeccably coiffed and highlighted.  Your head may move but your hair does not.

You understand the concept that you dress for the job you want. Judging by your wardrobe, I would say that you are well on your way to being the leader of the Empire or the President of The Hunger Games. Who needs the presidency of the United States when you could rule the entire universe?

The ads that you are creating about how evil a Trump presidency would be are scaring the shit out of me! Seriously if the Donald is elected into office puppy mills will be allowed? Those pictures of sad looking dogs in cages really added to the message. Why didn’t the advertising gurus just throw in some zombies and alien invaders to up the ante just a bit more?

You remind me of a nun I had in junior high school.  We called her Sgt. Bill. She could wither you with one look.  You have that same ability.  I don’t want to get on your bad side.  I have a feeling we wouldn’t like you when you get mad.
Please accept this emoticon J as a tribute.

 Last but certainly not least, it is time for me to end this letter writing session by closing with my missive to Donald Trump.

Dear Donald Trump,
Thank you for hours of endless entertainment. You have certainly brought some much-needed drama to the otherwise drab political scene. Your flamboyant showmanship reminiscent of PT Barnum is something to behold.  You are a winner but then again Charlie Sheen told us he was one too, go figure.  There is no doubt in anyone’s mind about that fact.

You are also a fighter. When asked if you would accept the outcome of the election, you replied that you would, if you won.  Such a mature attitude to take and that is precisely why you could be the leader of the free world.

In addition to your many talents that you remind us about on a consistent basis, you are a wordsmith. Who can forget bad hombres and nasty women? Is that a new western or an upcoming show on Fox? Twitter is your playground and we are held mesmerized by your every tweet.

Here are some legendary tweets from you; #draintheswamp, and #CrookedHillary. I can understand why you have embraced this medium. It sounds like you. Shouty anagrams and hashtags for everything.

You are a true original and spray tans may be out of fashion but you are bringing them back single handedly. If you run out of ideas for Twitter hashtags, I have a few for you; #OrangeMaverick, #CrazyAF, and #LadiesMan. All of them were crafted with you in mind and also to boost your trending stats.

I will admit this exercise has been exhausting much like this entire 2016 campaign. Wake me up when November ends. 
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Saturday, October 22, 2016

Sleepless in Seattle or Creeping in Seattle?

The other night I found myself channel surfing like I sometimes tend to do in the wee small hours of the morning. Sleepless in Seattle happened to be on one of the cable stations so I started watching this old favorite flick of mine. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe, but the Woman on the Ledge adores some schmaltzy love stories. Particularly those stories that have a hint of nostalgia in them.

Everyone knows the premise of Sleepless. Tom Hanks is a widower living in Seattle, who has a little boy named Jonah, that decides to play matchmaker for him. Jonah dials in to Dr. Marcia Fieldstone’s late-night radio show and tells her about his father. Tom ends up finding out what his son has done and becomes an accidental guest on the radio program. Meanwhile, a thousand miles away, Meg Ryan happens to be listening to Tom recounting his story to the host. She falls in love with his voice and his story and sets out to win his affection.

The film is loosely based on An Affair to Remember starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. However, the modern incarnation does not involve a car accident but like An Affair, it does involve a rendezvous on top of the Empire State Building.

Sleepless is written by the wonderfully talented, late, great Nora Ephron. Ms. Ephron started out as a journalist for the New York Post and then she became a columnist on women’s issues for Esquire. She was also a playwright, a screenwriter and then finally a director. Her resume reads like a Chick Flick hall of fame. In addition to Sleepless, Ms. Ephron is responsible for Heartburn, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, and Julie & Julia. Personally, I think she is the reason why Meryl Streep and Meg Ryan have careers. Well, Meryl is still going strong but Meg, that is a whole other can of worms. Let’s just say collagen is not Meg’s friend.

Sleepless in Seattle was made in 1993. That was only 23 years ago and the love game has changed drastically since then. While this movie was a hit, I doubt that it could be remade today without some drastic overhauls that would probably cause Ms. Ephron to roll over in her grave. First of all, does anyone listen to the radio anymore? With VEVO, Pandora, I Heart Radio, Tidal, et al, there is no need to turn a dial when these services are just a mouse click away. The 2016 version of Sleepless would probably start out with Meg listening to a podcast.

In the original Sleepless, since Meg is a writer for the Baltimore Sun, and just for the record, when I was working in Baltimore the Sun was in the midst of a huge lay-off of their staff. Meg would probably be a freelancer for The City Paper. Back in 1993, Meg was able to do research on Tom by utilizing the data services of the Sun. Now, in her defense, she was supposedly doing a story about Dr. Marcia’s show. I do know that now if you utilize your company’s internet for things like personal research on a guy you want to hook up with, you get fired. So much for that idea!

Meg even goes so far as to hire a private detective to spy on Tom to see if he is involved with anyone. Even when I saw the movie two decades ago, I thought that is a bold choice. Then I began to wonder since I had a crush on David Letterman if I could do the same thing and not get caught? Now before you go thinking that I did that, I can assure you that I didn’t have the money to afford that kind of luxury. Today if Meg even tried hiring an investigator, a friend or someone would tell her that she was being creepy and that is an invasion of privacy.

Instead Meg could just lurk on Facebook and check out Tom’s page, follow him on Instagram and Twitter if he has accounts. That way she would always know what he was doing. For a nominal fee, she could just sign up for Been Verified and get all her intel on Tom that way. This site will tell her if Tom is a felon, if he owns any property, how good his credit is, and whether or not he has a college degree. What more could a single woman looking for love ask for?

After the detective gives Meg some pictures showing Tom on a date with a woman, Meg decides to fly to Seattle to see if she can make contact with him. Um, okay. The movie made it seem like this was the logical and sensible course of action to take in order to advance the plot. Then I guess the takeaway would be stalking a potential love interest is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged. How romantic! If he happens to catch you, just look at him shyly, smile and chalk it up to the fact that you are meeting cute. Maybe someday, you can even write a screenplay about how you met. Does romance have a place in today’s electronic age?

I would love to hear your opinions on the subject! Please feel free to post your comments or contact me at susan.womanontheledge@aol.com. Follow my blog with Bloglovin Susan Leighton Woman on the Ledge  on My Trending Stories

Saturday, October 15, 2016

#TBW – Weren’t the 80’s Awesome?!

I was feeling sort of Back to the Future this weekend so I decided to go back to the past and have a throwback weekend. What has caused this sudden bout of nostalgia you might ask? The 2016 election, activating my Samsung Galaxy 7 phone, domestic affairs, foreign affairs, the list could go on and on. While I enjoy all of the benefits of this century I sometimes find myself longing for the days when all of life’s issues could be solved in one John Hughes movie.

During most of the 80’s, I was a teenager. My function in life was to go to school, play sports, get good grades and just have fun. Unlike today where those carefree days have been replaced with grown up concerns like paying the bills, job expectations, ad nauseum. Now whenever I revisit that time in my life, usually through watching popular movies of that era, I am struck by how totally unrealistic the situations depicted are and that in real life the repercussions would be very different.

Allow me to give you some examples to illustrate my theory. First, let’s talk about Flashdance.  What a feeling, right? The story centers around an 18-year-old welder named Alex who lives in Pittsburgh. She resides in a fabulous loft apartment in a converted warehouse and moonlights as an exotic dancer. In her spare time, she works out like a maniac to some cool tunes and hangs out with the boss of the steel mill in his killer Porsche 911. When I saw this film back in the day, I never questioned anything. Now as an adult, I have to stifle the laughter when I think of the implausibility of this plot.

In looking at the credits, I see one of the writers is Joe Eszterhas.  Mr. Eszterhas is known for two screenplays. Basic Instinct and Showgirls.  I must confess I do enjoy Showgirls because it is totally laughable.  It is almost like a 90’s version of Flashdance except it takes place in Vegas with nudity, crazy dancing, and tremendously bad acting. As for Basic Instinct, it gave us Sharon Stone.  Let that sink in for a moment. What is her claim to fame? A skin tight white dress and no underwear. I imagine she was the inspiration for countless starlets of today like Lindsay Lohan, the entire Kardashian clan, Paris Hilton (who?) and Britney Spears.

Back to the plot of Flashdance, I have questions. Welding is a very detailed discipline not to mention dangerous. When did Alex find time to study this technical job? In shop class during high school? Even if this was the case, would she be able to be hired by a steel mill after a year of making ash trays at the local trade school? Furthermore, at 18, where did she get the cash to foot the bill for that tremendous warehouse loft? Probably combining her tips as an exotic dancer with her salary. Now, I have been to strip clubs. I have never been to a club that involves a pull chain and a bucket of water.  Nor did any of the girls run up to a wall and do a back flip. As for Alex’s dalliance with her boss, Nick Hurley, all I can say is really? He seems incredibly older than her (not that there is anything wrong with that) and isn’t there an HR department at that mill? Seriously? In today’s corporate landscape, Alex would sue Nick for sexual harassment and Nick would resign from his position.

Another beloved movie from that era was Footloose. Now, I love me some Kevin Bacon but in retrospect how did this concept even get greenlighted by a studio? Listen, the soundtrack was excellent and I spent many a night dancing to the theme song in college. One time, I even jumped on a table with some friends but that is a whole other blog. Getting back to the subject at hand, Ren McCormack (Kevin Bacon) is a Chicago teen who is uprooted from his urban existence and transplanted smack dab in the middle of East Kadumptruck, Iowa. Okay, that is not the name of the town and if you are from Iowa I apologize. Des Moines is the best! In this Iowa burg, no one dances and no one listens to the devil’s music which would be rock and roll.

First of all, if it weren’t for small towns in the Midwest how would John Cougar Mellencamp have a career or even Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen? Is this town in “Little House on the Prairie” or just a weird cult haven that lets a minister (played by master thespian, John Lithgow) dictate how people choose to live their lives? Of course, Ren has the misfortune of taking up with the minister’s daughter and all hell breaks loose. I could go on and on about Footloose but you get the picture. In the end, that sinister rock music wins, everyone sees the light, and it is time to boogie! If only real world issues could be solved with some Duran Duran and the Electric Slide!  We could say goodbye to all the scary threats in our present day world.

The last film I want to talk about is the classic, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  This movie is the inspiration for a 90’s band called “Save Ferris.” “Save Ferris” had some brief success with a remake of an old 80’s tune, “Come on Eileen,” by “Dexy’s Midnight Runners.” In this story, Ferris is a high school kid who decides that he is going to take the day off. In an elaborate plan worthy of a bank robbery, Ferris breaks his girlfriend Sloane and his best friend Cameron out of school for some hi jinx. They take Cameron’s dad’s classic car for a spin, go to the art museum, have dogs at a Cubs game and even sing on a float in a parade in downtown Chicago. Meanwhile, the high school principal becomes obsessed with tracking Ferris down to prove that he is playing hooky.

Let me just say from firsthand experience, this guy would have been busted in the 80’s. I know this because I tried to sneak out of school in the middle of the day. Granted, I went to a lock down federal penitentiary Catholic school but my plan was thwarted. The vice principal grabbed me right as I was walking out the side door of the school theater.  Ferris definitely would have been busted today with all of the social media. Someone would capture his adventures and then put them on You Tube. Amazingly enough, he appeared on television while singing on the float and no one found out! It seems like everyone was blissfully unaware.

In today’s world, the principal of Ferris’ high school would probably be brought up on charges of harassment and stalking a student. This would lead to his public disgrace and a tearful resignation with his stalwart family by his side.  Cameron, Sloane, and Ferris would have been suspended from school and the consequences would definitely not have been feel good.

I still enjoy each of the films that I mentioned. They are fun and they are frivolous. Their main goal is to entertain. After all, that is why we go to the movies or listen to that new song or read that latest best seller is to escape from our lives. I am fortunate to have grown up in a time that was free of some of the issues that we face today. I will forever be a child of the awesome 80’s! 
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Saturday, October 8, 2016

Want to Join My Squad?

Every time I turn around, some celebrity has assembled a “squad.” Back in olden times, (that would be the 1990’s) your friends used to be your “posse.” Of course if you are a star or person of note in addition to the squad, there is a team led by “handlers” or “wranglers” otherwise known as publicists, managers, or whatever the hip, new definition is these days. Whenever I see these two terms in relation to someone like Donald Trump or one of the Kardashian minions I immediately picture cowboys in chaps on horses trying to lasso said famous person. For those of you whose minds may have wandered at the mere mention of chaps, they aren’t just for bikers or the Village People anymore and I’ll leave it at that.  Apparently those jobs are very similar to parenting.

Whenever a politician, athlete, movie star or musician fabulously messes up like a certain personality who forgot that a microphone was turned on and decided to espouse their tips for romancing the ladies (person with a last name that rhymes with dump), the handlers or wranglers are forced to spring in to action. Sometimes they will slap the errant celeb on the hand and take away their Twitter account. Other times, they are tasked with formal apologies and the writing of mea culpas to be seen on every form of social media that has been invented.

The last group to be found in the celeb hierarchy of people they can’t do without is the “entourage.” These individuals are SO important that there was an entire show on HBO devoted to them along with a rather regrettable movie.  This group is usually comprised of body guards, a member of the squad’s cousin who needs to find work because he got fired from the 7-11 and so on and so forth.

As for yours truly, I am nowhere near the stratosphere or ionosphere of a celebrity. However, I thought it would be fun to imagine picking a squad. I am fairly confident that all of the individuals I am about to mention will probably lose my evite or have better things to do.

Tina Fey – I love this fellow Pennsylvanian ever since 30 Rock first graced my television set back in the 00’s.  She was the FIRST female head writer on Saturday Night Live, a notorious men’s club.  Another reason why she rocks? She isn’t afraid to call out celebrities on their bullshit. She owns who she is and is perfectly okay not being a sex symbol. Having coffee with her at the Starbucks would be a trip. I would love to hear her comments about all of America’s greatest writers being assembled under one roof.

Amy Poehler – Boston Amy, as I like to call her is second on my list. I mean her and Tina are a package deal. Amy is comfortable in her skin and understands that she is a 45-year-old woman and not a 20 something. My favorite quote from her is found in the movie Sisters, “A little less Forever 21 and a lot more Suddenly 42!” In addition to being an awesome comedienne, Amy runs a website, amysmartgirls.com.  This site encourages young women to be intelligent and imaginative. The next time I go to the mall, I am bringing her with me. Then just for the hell of it, we are going to Forever 21!

Melissa McCarthy – What can I say? She had me at Bridesmaids. This woman is fearless! She is not above looking ridiculous to get a laugh and that is why she is so successful. Although she has lost quite a bit of weight, she designed her own line of plus sized clothing because she felt that retailers didn’t really offer curvy girls a decent selection. Melissa is the kind of woman I am doing shots with after work on Friday because hey this bar needs some excitement!

Carrie Brownstein -  For those of you that don’t know her, Carrie is the co-creator along with Fred Armisen of the outrageously funny IFC show, Portlandia. Prior to her show, Carrie was part of the punk rock trio, Sleater-Kinney. Portlandia regularly skewers hipsters, pop culture, geeks, and the music scene. Carrie is definitely my go to chick for the twenty one pilots concert or the next time I get my hair colored mermaid aqua.

Kristen Wiig – If it weren’t for Kristen, I never would’ve gotten to know Melissa! Another SNL alum, if I were single, she would be my wing person. Every squad needs a friend who is willing to assist in that department.  In addition to her being a talented comedy writer, she has also worked with some funny guys that I fancy, Will Ferrell and Simon Pegg. I bet she could arrange a meet and greet….

Amy Schumer – What can I say?  I have something for the name Amy. This woman keeps me laughing all the time. From her stand up, to Trainwreck, to her latest book, The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, I am always highly entertained! She also doesn’t give a crap about what you think about her and she doesn’t have time for your thoughts on how she should behave either. If I ever get in a bar fight (see Melissa McCarthy above), I know this New York gal has my back!

There you have it!  My squad has been assembled. Now I have to inform them along with the director of Taylor Swift’s music video, Bad Blood. You know that Tina is dying to wear those dominatrix boots and that Boston Amy wants to try out the bullwhip. Oh yeah, Carrie is up for being a “boss” so watch out Lena Dunham. Amy S is all about that tight bustier and Kristen is giving herself a smoky eye because she likes looking bitchy or like a raccoon in the rain.

Who makes the cut for your squad? I’d love to hear your picks! Feel free to comment or drop me a line at susan.womanontheledge@aol.com
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Saturday, October 1, 2016

WTF- I'm 50?!

I want to preface my current blog post with a little backstory.  Normally, I tend to write more humorous, pop culture reference filled pieces.  Today, however, is going to be slightly different.  I had the pleasure of being introduced to a blog by one of my fellow Google + collaborators, Tim Clark (http://tim-thingsastheyare.blogspot.com/).  The blog is called Maddy at Home (http://www.maddyathome.com/retired/ageism-zambia/).  Maddy’s latest effort focuses on ageism in Zambia.

The story was heartbreaking.  It did inspire me to share an article I wrote which appeared in the August edition of a wonderful UK website called, Pretty Normal Me (http://prettynormalme.com/). It is about my experience with the aging process. I am still getting used to it! 

Just because I am a woman of a “certain age” now doesn’t mean that I am polishing the walker up! No way! If anything, I am now out to prove that you can be hip and with it and 50. I know what Snapchat is, I know my way around my Android phone, I test software for companies and I am fluent in SQL. Oh, yeah and did I mention, in addition to being an AARP member, I have purple and blue highlights in my hair? Not all of us are wearing track suits and walking around malls.  Not that there is anything wrong with that!

Now, without further blabbing from me, here is WTF-I’m 50?!  Enjoy!

So I turned 50 this February.  Yeah, you heard me right.  The big 5-0.  How could this have happened? I know the scientific reasons and the biological reasons and all that other nonsense. It seems like yesterday I was partying with friends in a crowded club while Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Relax blared over the speakers.

Despite what celebrities, the health gurus and the media tell me, 50 is not the new 30.  I have not awakened to find that suddenly I have acquired great wealth, the abdominal muscles of Ruby Rose nor the wisdom of the ages.  No, I am still me. In terms of feeling insecure and unsure of the future, well, then yes, I am exactly like a 30-year-old.

I wish I could say that your confidence level grows as you age but I would be lying.  Inwardly I am constantly questioning myself and the decisions that I make.   I look around and I see other women in my age group.  Some of them are married, some of them are career women and some of them appear to be satisfied with the paths that they have taken in life.  If they are happy, that is wonderful! As for me, I am trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. 

Recently, I left the world of corporate finance.  I could no longer endure the endless meetings, the PowerPoint presentations from hell and the backstabbing office politics.  What I really wanted to do more than anything was write.  I had always enjoyed writing from a child on.  Of course, I did not really know if I could make a living out of it, but I was willing to take that risk. 

The thought of not having a steady income is terrifying.  It reminds me of when I was doing theater in my 20’s and going from part time job to part time job just to have gas money.  The difference between then and now?  Then, I had parents so even though I had to pay them rent, they would be lenient if I was a tad short.  Now, if I have trouble making my rent, I will be kissing my house goodbye and trying to live out of my Toyota hatchback with my husband and our Boston Terrier.  Just for the record, the hatch is great for fuel economy.  What the hatch is not?  A home!  Although the seats fold down, I would not recommend it as a bed!

If I was going to start on this path, then I was not going to do it half assed.  I made a commitment to write every day.  I didn’t try to edit myself, I just allowed my thoughts to come pouring out of my unfiltered brain.  Because of my background in finance, I was able to get some articles published on call center websites.  From that point, I started submitting my work to other publications. 

After doing that, I found myself in what I like to call “submission limbo.”  I had pitched ideas to willing publications and now I was in a holding pattern.  I was waiting to see if they liked me enough to publish me.  Sometimes I would get a pat response such as, “Thank you for your essay.  If we are interested, we will be in touch.” Other times, I would hear nothing.  I understand that most editors are extremely busy doing editorial things but I’m an adult.  Instead of stringing me along just tell me that my work sucks and that there is no way in hell you would publish my shit.  It would hurt but in the end I would not feel like I am doing a walk of shame after a drunken one-night stand.

I spend most days typing away on my laptop in my living room working on content for my blog and other writing projects.  It is far from glamorous.  I do not have a press agent, I do not have a social media maven, I do not have a manager, it is just me. 

I am a one-woman machine!  I am certain that colleagues from my past think that I am sitting poolside sipping margaritas and pretending to be busy.  That is definitely not the case!  I spend a great deal of my waking hours conjuring up topics to write about.

Sometimes, especially at night, I find myself becoming worried.  Did I do the right thing?  Was it immature of me to quit my job? What is going to happen? Will I run out of things to say? I have always been prone to over analyzation. I feel that if I don’t have control over most situations then everything is going to turn into a dumpster fire.  As hard as I try, my insecurities are always just behind door number three.

Because I am 50 I feel as if I should have had this whole hot mess sorted out. Instead, in my typical “maverick” fashion, I am going through a mid-life crisis (of sorts!). Even though I do not have all the answers, I can tell you that despite the uncertainty, I am excited again!  I never know what is coming around the corner, but that is an adventure. I like getting up in the morning and feeling like I have a purpose in life.  I am no longer working for someone else and their twisted agenda, I am doing what I want to do.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I have had a change of perspective.  No one can wave a magic wand and have whatever is stressing them out go completely away.  It is an uphill battle but one that I must fight every day.  Life is way too short to second guess myself.  It is also too short for me to bitch and moan about the fact that I am getting older and that the grey hair is creeping in more and more.

I am learning that I may not be the best looking, the most talented or the smartest being on the planet but what I am is me.  It took me 50 years to accept who I am.  I do not know how this journey will end but if I can impart one pearl of wisdom, do not let insecurity hold you back. Do what makes you happy.  In the end being happy is worth more than having washboard abs, being a size two, famous or wealthy.  Embrace your imperfections and wear them proudly.  When you find that little voice inside your head is telling you that you are not good enough just say, “Bye, Felicia” and send that bitch packing. Follow my blog with Bloglovin