5. Julia Roberts – This Lancôme La Vie Est Belle commercial runs nonstop over the holiday season. In a sea of formal black attire, we suddenly see Julia appear in a halo of blinding white light to highlight her blinding white dress. Of course, everyone stops what they are doing to stare at her. Gee, I wonder why they are doing that? Could it be because she is Julia Frickin’ Roberts? I don’t know, it’s a mystery. As Julia sashays among the people, we can’t help but notice how poured into her dress she is and how well her Wonder Bra is working. Julia is fast approaching the big 50 and gravity hasn’t affected her yet. She must be wearing Spanx created by NASA.
For some unknown reason, as Julia is enjoying the attention she notices that the people attending this gathering are puppets held up by diamond encrusted strings. Oh, this is believable. How many times have you been at a party where people were marionettes? Zero? Yep, that would be correct. Who comes up with these ideas? I would love to hear the pitch meeting. “Think Pinocchio meets the Kardashians.” We could all be spared further commercials like this one if only Julia would ascend those stairs and just jump off the other side.